Fuck you. You asked to use my phone for Facebook and I tell you specifically “Don’t do any funny stuff; don’t look through my stuff.” You say “Of not. No no no.” First, you keep my phone to prevent me from going home after obviously seeing me waiting for you. Then when I finally get my phone, I see you went through my messages, pictures, and my Tumblr where I keep my secrets and vent. How lower can you get. I was starting to trust you again, but not anymore. After breakup, I’ve started to find you more and more annoying and disrespectful to me, my brothers, and others. Now, you’re completely nothing to me. If you like me like I’ve heard, you lost the chances you had (if at all). If you hate me, the feelings mutual, backstabbing jerk. I can’t even think of you as a friend now. P.S. I know you say bad things about me behind my back. See my middle finger? Yeah, I don’t give a flying fuck. I trust other true, loyal friends. Fuck you ex. Fuck. You.

I wish we were in another dimension. Maybe you’d like me back…. Wait, never mind. That’d never happen in any dimension3

My life is like one of those movies….. Stress from school with all the homework and drama, stress from family problems, and the girl I like likes another guy. I’m behind in school because of being sick and helping friends out. Some friends are pissed at me because I did something I didn’t mean to do only because I was helping a friend and taking the blame. And my house is a living hell. Oh, and the special girl I’m starting to gain feelings for right now? She likes another guy, and I’m helping her get him because I’m like her best friend/brother……. Basic movie plot. Can I like move to another town. Find a new girl to like, find new friends, find a new family…..

I don’t want to sound like my last relationship didn’t matter to me. Trust me, IT DID. But life moves on. Ever since my break up, there have been many people who was there for me to cheer me up. But there are only a few who have always been there since the start. I’ve never noticed this until now, but this on special girl in particular has caught my eyes. Not all because of looks, but because of personality and our huge chemistry. I’ve been starting to feel these emotions for you…. But I know you absolutely don’t at all. This girl I’m talking about has always been there for me and many times I don’t really realize it. But it had just popped in my mind that you are the kind of girl that I want. However, I know that if I admit these feelings to you, things would immediately get Super, Super Weird; Because I know you don’t have these feelings towards me in the least. I’ve always wanted this kind of relationship and have only dreamt about it or seen it in movies: the kind of relationship where the couple has known eachother for basically all their life and have beed best friends ever since day one. But as time grew, so did we. And we started becoming more seperate. Only recently have I realized that you are the kind of girl I would take a bullet for. For a year now, we have had the kind of relationship like in the movies where the two would NEVER end up together. But I wish we could end up like most movies where they do. But I know it’d be super weird and also that you have no feelings towards me. I’ve even been helping you get other guys, and you have been helping me with girls and my past girlfriend. But I only do that because I care about you. A lot. But, you really do have the traits of the girl I’ve always wanted: Beautiful inside and out, passionate, loyal, caring, funny, talented, a best friend, deep chemistry, similar thinking, innocent and pure, just pure amazing and perfect to me. But I know we would never end up together because of the way I’ve carved our future and current relationship. But I would most definitely consider dating you. No second thoughts. I’ve already told you some of these things, and I care about you so much. You are one of my first priorities actually. But I know you do not have special feelings for me, or any feelings at all, but only for another guy. This isn’t a plead or confession, but realistically a reminder about how much I care about you and how I feel about you secretly. Not major love feelings, just kind of crush feelings. I’ve always been there for you through thick and thin, and no matter how much some of it may have hurt me, I still remained by your side all the way. And I will continue to remain by your side, wether it’s as a boyfriend (which is never), best friend, brother, or even just a caring person. I will always be by your side 24/7.

It’s been awhile since we’ve broke up… I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed. But I know that by experiencing that relationship, I grew more and learned more about my true self. I’ve been hearing and seeing that she wants me back (maybe), but honestly I don’t. I’m actually trying to make you not want me. What’s the whole point if you aren’t going to change. You haven’t even changed ever since; you’ve just gotten more annoying and rude really. You try to be a smart ass or cool, but if you would just be the girl I first met, I’d actually give it another chance. But anyways, I’m completely over you now. P.s. Start respecting my brothers a bit more please. I say this to you also as a Brother. GoodBye~

I hate my house. I hate my life. I fucking hate it. My grandpa is going at it again. I can’t even have fun with friends or mom without him having to bitch about like some 5-year old. I get it gramps, you broke your toe, got a headache from medicine, mad at my dad and uncle for some reason. But when I come home, you don’t have to get me fucking involve. I set the remote down on the table, didn’t even know I set it down a little hard, and he just goes off. The littlest mistake sets him off like a fucking bomb. I’m just so pissed, for the first time, I just literally walked out of the room without responding to him, threw everything in sight in my room, throw my chair down on the floor hard (upstairs) and threw my phone. I fucking hate this house. My dad says every time, “don’t worry about him. Ignore him.” well dad, how about you fucking try to ignore that. I’m going for a jog tomorrow, and I don’t know if I’m coming back. I hate this house and the anger that it’s deprives. For the first time in my life, i realized that i want out. The day I move out, the day I get out of that fucking house, the day I’m out of his life will be the first breath of my life.